Ghost Bones

This freezing cold
Inside my bones
Spreading infinite
Like wildfire
Caught on the breeze
Cold smoke sighing
Behind a cloudy lens
These consequences
Stultifying
This fragmentation
A pressure mounting
She moves in my arms
All soft and hazy
Helpless as a fawn
Waiting for the dawn
But I’m not enough
I’m ghost bones
Clattering around
Inside leathered skin
Waiting for the sun
To melt my insides.

Kiss Quick

This petulant love
Breathless in its urgency
Painful in its disregard
Standard for the times
So Sinatra smooth
It makes me ache inside
But it comes with consequence
With a kiss quick mentality
Leaving behind traces
Of light, and dark, and shadow
Cobbled together like stone
Six-eighths and forever
But only lasting a moment
As quaint as that seems
Like a faded photograph
Yellowed at the edges
A copy hoping for rebirth
But finding decay instead
Where we used to tumble
Where we used to lie
When the lying was good
And the pieces were whole
Left behind by an apathy
That makes me wonder
If I was just being used.

Sunflower Dreams

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She loves me not
Even though she did
When everything was new
Just like fresh paint
Inundating every surface
With vibrant restraint
And calculated risk
When nothing is absolute
Except her apathy
In the absence of love
In the wealth of regret
That I never said so
That I didn’t tell her
The words that transform
When nothing else can
These petals dropping
Slowly into dirty water
One by one by one
But she never loves me
Not in a million tries
An acceptance unaccepted
These sunflower dreams
These unfounded hopes
Blowing on the breeze.

Parched

I.

These streets are barren
Stripped of conscious life
Left to die, a wasteland
Of brown, and black, and blue
Fundamentally ashamed
Of all they’ve come to be
Turned to rot and ruin
Dressed in sackloth and ash
Like consecutive numbers
In black, and white, and gray
A creative parody of sorts
These silent nightly trysts
These episodes of silence
Behind darkened windowpanes
And hollowed out veneers
The meandering lake run dry
Leaving dirt, and silt, and earth
Waiting for the rain.

II.

A reasonable delay
A staccato rhythm
The humming of bees
Where no hives exist
This hesitant laugh
Echoing off stone
Finding no purchase
No complementary edge
On which to balance
These expectant shivers
Disintegrating calm
Falling into disarray
Yet holding steadfast
To this lovelorn hope
That everything will mend
Even though it won’t.

III.

I can’t remember love
Not the uncompromising kind
Or the shadow of a promise
We never made to ourselves
But I do recall September
When we danced between the rain
And I remember strong laughter
A cacophony of sorts
Shifting in the swell of life
That often takes us by surprise
This idea of love that remains
When all else is obscured
I do recall sweat soaked sheets
In an otherwise empty room
Save for you, and me,
And the rhythm of this heat
Left behind in your frenzied wake
Cooling in the cruel reality
That encamped once you let it in

Now I know it wasn’t unconditional
Not the fairy tale kind of love
Just a placeholder for this pain
Shoved down in these dark places
Where the agony still reigns
Until I pray it to sleep

Until I pray it to sleep.

Forgotten

alone-art-beautiful-black-and-white-calm-figure-favim-com-40265I’ve forgotten everything about you
The way you always tilt your head
When something makes you wonder
How you finger comb your hair
And it cascades around your face
The way your nose wrinkles
When I’ve confused you again
How you drive with your left hand
While your right taps on the dash
And I want to still it with a kiss

I’ve forgotten why we said goodbye
All the fragmentary arguments
The slammed doors in the hall
Silence that stretched into forever
And the dissonance that stung
Like pine needles in a strong wind
How I shut down instead of sharing
All this pain wrapped up inside of me
And you disappeared into the fog
Of life, and loss, and misunderstanding

I’ve forgotten the reasons to stay
Your silhouette in the pouring rain
The feeling of your hand in mine
Fingers linked together like our bodies
Under the covers in the dead of night
How we could converse about nothing
And everything at the very same time
This opalescent, divergent love
All-consuming in its consequential rage
That burns out, leaving only our ashes

I’ve forgotten everything about you
The complacent nature of your understanding
That we would always be good for each other
When we were toxic from the very beginning
Despite the moments of pure elation
I don’t remember feeling utterly worthless
Or shackled to the idea of who we should be
Instead of the reality of who we were not
And the devastation is more evident now
Because I’ve forgotten the memory of you

And I’m ready to move on.

Carrion

Death becomes me
Like a mask
On a shelf
In a store
The day before Halloween
And circling vultures
Eye my construction
The fading paint
Androgynous character
Frayed string
And trashed visage
These signs of weakness
Symbolize my demise
Nearly as much as the ones
Who wait for the end
Who pick at my limbs
Hoping that they fall off
Sniffing the air
For the scent of decay
That has become me
As I wait for you
While I hang on
Fingertip grip
Holding to a promise
That will never be fulfilled
Like a beautiful prism
Buried under shadow
Fighting for relevance
In a world full of scavengers
Hovering near
To pick apart the weak
These carrion beasts
Still waiting for me.