Push/Pull

I don’t know why
I can’t just be
Like a mindless mind
Blending with itself
Like so much consequence
Wrapped in clean linen
Because nothing else
makes sense
While these fractals whorl
Spinning like plates
In the absence
of a vacuum
Calling me by name
Even though I’ve forgotten
Even though I’m not
the same
Only me adjacent
Like I sometimes am
When I’m nothing else
But skin, and bones,
and a fractured soul
Looking to be made whole
So I can go home again
Like charged ions looking
for others of their ilk
For the pretense of life
That presages death
That lends me oxygen
When I can’t breathe
Until time passes near
Its shadow brushing lips,
and skin, and essence
Leaving deep lines
That are now as much me
as this fluttering heart
In this cage of flesh
Withering on the vine.