After

I feel your loss
Like a metronome
Banging out memories
Slamming metal on metal
Harshly reminiscent
Of how little time we had
And the clashing
And the clanging
These noises remain
Even after you’re gone
They fill the silences
Like nothing else can
Like a nightmare
On repeat in my brain
Because there is no after
No consequential more
Nothing left but images
Flickering in my periphery
Disembodied conversations
We used to have
But it’s all fading
Like a ghost at dawn
Because you’re gone
And no amount of absence
Could make me feel fonder
This after swallows me whole
Transforming my soul
Into some primordial ooze
Filling the silences
With this anguished scream
That I will never recognize
As my own.

Modern Man

It’s fascinating, really
This give and take
This shifting sway
Masquerading as life
Taking on its form
These automatons
Marking their time
With polished metal
Gleaming in the twilight
Standing on the sand
But never slipping
And I wonder at it all
This convoluted chaos
Organized in a space
Too small to contain it
These quaint pardon-me’s
Hiding juvenile scorn
Making time to exhale
Forcing breath by breath
Into antiquated lies
Properly cosmetic
These disguises slipping
As reality sets in
What a marvel to behold
The death of the robot
The fall of the modern man
Who fails to know his place
This solitary grace
That comes in shadow
Before it sees the light.

Ash & Coal

I saw it from the outset
I noticed from the start
These signs and exhalations
This absence of the heart

And even if you loved me
And even if you knew
That life could be amazing
This love could capture you

But I know it won’t happen
I realize you’ll never care
That these rapturous attentions
Are neither right nor fair

Yet I cannot let you tarry
Very far from my own sight
And this heartbreaking emotion
That keeps me up at night

Because I know that this is love
As pure as the driven snow
These crazy aspirations
This ever blazing glow

This conscious palpitation
These etchings on my soul
My sacrificial yearnings
My prayers in ash and coal

But you never did notice
From inside your house of tin
And I cannot quell this feeling
That you should have let me in

I saw it from the outset
I knew it then in part
That I always would be waiting
That this patience would be art

And this conscientious pain
Pounds upon me like the rain
But I like it.