npp_001If I wanted to stop time
And remember your face
If I needed to withdraw
To leave at midnight
If I should have recognized
The moisture in your eyes
As sedimentary tears
If I could have agreed
Just once more
With everything you said
If I desperately counted hours
Waiting for you to realize
That I was the one you wanted
If I needed to remind you
That it’s okay to be honest
If I could have broken your heart
To see if it was still beating
If I wanted to come home
And sink into your arms
Exactly like a child
If I could have argued
If that would make you stay
Then maybe I shouldn’t
If I constructed a fiction
And you played the starring role
What would I ultimately win?
If I could do it all again
Would I linger at your door?
Because I’ve seen it all before
And it never ends well
This need for excuses
This one-way road I’m on
That should lead away from you
If I could only let go.

I Love You, But


I love you, but
I’ve never considered
What else is out there
Where else I could be
If I weren’t in love
With somebody like you
If you didn’t take me
And mold me in your image
Like I was on display
A trophy to hold aloft
To mimic in quiet moments
When nobody hears but me

I love you, but
I’ve never looked for more
No changing of my guard
Or inflection shifting
Not even a passing fling
Because you’re all I see
Even in my periphery
I’ve never wondered what
The world looks like alone
And days turn into years
While I stagnate on your wall
Before starting to catch my breath

I love you, but
I’m finally beginning to breathe
Torn from your life support
With a miracle in mind
A chance to spread my wings
Even though I might drop
From these impossible heights
Our love turn to ashes in my mouth
A facsimile of what’s gone before
Of the promises you made me swear
Those nights when you didn’t care
But you expected my allegiance

I love you, but
I realize now that I don’t
Because you never loved me
And how pathetic would that be
If I kept holding on?


Fantasy-image-fantasy-36081332-800-678The looking glass is razor thin
Flimsy as a nightgown in July
Showing through in places
Like the beginning of love
Twisted up in circumstance
And the constant pining for more
These paltry excuses
Piling up in boxes on the floor
Slid into these mere shadows
As comfortable as warm bodies
Pressed together on a bed
She studies her reflection from afar
The piercing light cast across
Blinding her before it heals
Her nakedness more stark than real
Her vulnerability cold like ice
Like the goosebumps that spread
Ghostly across the expanse of her skin
The sweat magnified
In the glow cast by the glass
Imitated in the echoes of consequence
That fade before rising
A crescendo in the making
Pressing her cheek
Against the cool surface
Which ripples like a pool
Accepting her offering
Like easing into a bath
As the glass shatters
Covering her in bloody shards
And screams that run red
Before dying amidst the embers.